Monday 9 September 2013

Journal Fragments Unearthed in a Bavarian Castle



       
The experiment was a success! The broth appears capable of being activated by application of high voltage electricity.

If this God forsaken fortress had other staff I would do more than merely castigate that imbecile Igor.

Villagers were rampaging outside again tonight, all pitchforks and torches, shouting about evil emanating from the castle. Peasants!

Deep in the grip of a maudlin mood today over problems securing a suitable test subject.

Procured a meretricious local wench. She died screaming, but would not revive.

Morning rain dispersed another mob from the gates. I toured the walls savouring the petrichor and re-considering my plan.

I have it! A specious assumption that any subject would do. Need a male for increased physical resilience.

The specimen revived – just barely. His earlier ranting subsided into a troubled susurrus.

The ingrate subject attacked me and absconded. He appeared peculiarly vexed. Need stronger chains for the next one...

150 words
@nickjohns999
Over achiever challenger


This story was written for Jeff Hollar’s Monday Mixer flash fiction challenge #29 (details below)

It was judged the winner for 'Best Use of Prompts'!
The judge said:-

Nick Johns for his story Journal Fragments Unearthed in a Bavarian Castle. This captivating take on the Frankenstein theme had the unique honor of not only employing the longest story title in the history of the Monday Mixer, it is also, I believe, the only time an entry has incorporated all nine of the prompt words in...alphabetical...order. Wow. This tale fulfilled the promise of its title by making use of fragmented and incomplete thoughts and phrases that had the effect of making it more rather than less compelling. While it offered no real new twist on an old story, it was still quite a skilful manipulation of disparate words into a coherent whole. Most impressive!


Monday Mixer requires that writers devise a  tale of exactly 150 words using at least one word from each list provided – shown below

In this story I have used all nine. For an additional challenge, I have arranged them in alphabetical order!


Things:          1) broth            2) susurrus          3) petrichor

Verbs:           1) vex               2) emanate          3) castigate

Adjectives:   1) maudlin       2) specious           3) meretricious


4 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! Nice notes for a day at 'work'...don't want to be one of his subjects!

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    1. Thanks Lisa! Jeff has outdone himself with the prompts this week!

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  2. Wow, what an achievement! I was happy to have simply participated! I enjoyed your story. The words don't feel inserted, they simply belong.

    This almost feels like a journal entry. I was so excited at the progress made. There's a story around this snippet that I'd love to read! Well done!

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    1. Thanks Jessica. I enjoyed wrestling this one into shape!

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